VIDEO: Things flight attendants say…

Improve your travel with Bruce Lee

The following quotes are from the book Striking Thoughts: Bruce Lee’s Wisdom for Daily Living by John Little.

1. Something for nothing - “There is only something for something, never something for nothing.”

Think about that next time you feel nickel and dimed by an airline. Ticket prices are less than they were twenty years ago, so in the end you’re still paying the same price you were in 1992, maybe even less. Keep in mind the Barbie Glam Vacation Jet costs $119.99 at ToysRus. That’s more than most one way tickets.

2. Emptiness is the starting point - “In order to taste my cup of water you must first empty your cup. Drop all your preconceived fixed ideas and be neutral. Do you know why this cup is so useful? Because it is empty!”

Don’t let what happened on your last flight affect your next flight. Often passengers will board and immediately want to rehash the details of what went wrong on another trip. Things don’t usually go so well from here. How could it? I’ve just been linked to the worst flight ever!

3. “Is” vs. “Should” - “What IS is more important than WHAT SHOULD BE. Too many people are looking at “what is” from a position of thinking “what should be.”

To become a flight attendant one must be flexible. Being able to quickly adapt to change is essential on the job. If there’s one thing we can count on in the aviation industry, it’s something is bound to go wrong. This is why we always have back up plans A, B, C, and D. So next time something doesn’t seem to be going right, do what a flight attendant would do and instead of getting upset about what should be happening, focus on what is happening, and start making alternative plans – QUICKLY! Before all the hotel rooms are booked and the rental agencies run out of cars.

4. Anxiety - Anxiety is the gap between the NOW and the THEN. So if you are in the now, you can’t be anxious, because your excitement flows immediately into ongoing spontaneous activity.

I can spot a fearful flier a mile away. If they’re not asking about the weather, they’re clutching the armrest and sweating profusely. A little unknown fact is more people die falling off donkeys than they do in plane crashes. Remember that next time you start to feel anxious. Focus on the fact that you’re sitting in a somewhat uncomfortable seat and drinking the beverage of your choice. There’s probably even a very nice person sitting beside you. If that doesn’t work, tell a flight attendant what’s going on and we’ll do what we can to help. We’re trained professionals. That’s what we’re there for.

5. Not to think, but to do - Our grand business is not to see what lies dimly at a distance, but to do what lies clearly at hand. 

You know the saying, life is the journey, not the destination? Well it’s true. Your trip starts as soon as you throw your bags into the trunk of your car. We only get one chance at this life, so why not make the most of it, even if you’re on an airplane or stuck in the terminal after a breach in security at Newark Airport.

READ MORE

Lufthansa Airline Commercial

I love this commercial!  Doesn’t matter if I have no idea what they’re saying.  Now how do I get cool music like that playing in the background whenever I walk through the terminal?

North Pole Airport (Tell me a pilot doesn’t live here!)

What is a laviator?

Benet J Wilson and Flightblogger, Jon Ostrower, in the lavatory of a Gulfstream GIV that used to be owned by Oprah.

My interview with Benet J Wilson….

Aunt Benet: How did you coin the term “laviator?”

Heather Poole: I didn’t; the great Annie “Danger” Scott Riley did.  I knew I had found something great, and it deserved a great name, so I asked my fellow Gadling writers if they could come up with something.  Annie won.  I can’t remember what I almost named it, but it was funny too.

AB: How did you come up with the idea to create the laviator blog?

HP: It’s not actually a blog, but a club/group that people can join by submitting  photos to a Flickr website.  I’ll choose some of the photos from time to time to feature on my blog.  It all began when I was working on a blog post for my Galley Gossip column on Gadling about trusting your fear (in flight).  I needed a photograph of an airplane toilet to go along with a story I was sharing about a man who kept going to the lavatory with a McDonald’s bag.

I went to Flickr.com to look for a photo, typed the words, “airplane toilet” into the search engine/tool bar, and VOILA!  Hundreds of “laviators” popped up.  I couldn’t believe how many photos there were of people posing in the bathroom mirror.  Right then and there I KNEW I was on to something.  What I loved most about those photos was everyone looked so happy!  It was like…they weren’t even on a plane!  LOL.  And everyone was so different!  Young, old, short, tall, and from all over the world.  It’s an international phenomenon, I guess.  The great thing about air travel is no matter how different we are, we all pretty much have the same experiences – in airplane toilets.  HA!  It’s why travel is such a great topic of conversation.

AB: When was the blog launched?

HP: The first laviator post appeared on Gadling March 23, 2009!  Wow, the club is almost 3 years old!  After I posted the story, a funny thing happened.  Strangers started emailing me their photos!  So I wrote about it again so I could feature these photos.  Soon after that someone named George from Romania created a laviator video (Auntie appears at around 2:23)  featuring all the photos.  I love that video.  And then it just took off!  National Geographic even wrote about it!  Photos came pouring in.  And I would post each one in the Gadling Laviator photo gallery.

READ MORE

 

CRUISING ATTITUDE: Book description

FINALLY Amazon.com has added a description of my book…. (NOTE: changes are in red)

In the spirit of books like “Waiter Rant” and “Kitchen Confidential”, blogger and flight attendant Heather Poole gives the inside scoop on how to be the most hated passenger on the plane, whether passionate affairs with pilots are really as frequent as you’d think, what it’s like flying in a post-9/11 world, and everything else passengers never knew. Readers will learn what it’s like to live in a flight attendant crashpad in Crew Gardens, Queens, where the bedrooms are crammed with bunkbeds and the neighbors get the wrong idea about why attractive women are coming and going at all hours. They’ll find out why it’s a bad idea to fall for pilots, and – in Heather’s case, at least-why it can be a good idea to fall for a business class passengers passenger . They’ll watch passengers and coworkers alike get escorted off the planes by police, and learn insider secrets on starting salaries, FA schedules, celebrity misbehavior, and much more. Packed with sometimes unbelievable and always hilarious stories, “Cruising Attitude” intermingles the best of galley gossip with Heather’s own experiences of life in the sky.

Thanksgiving holiday travel (photo): Of course it will fit in the overhead bin!

Let the madness begin…

Flight attendant gifts: Stewardess Barbie, Polly Pocket flight attendant, Dream Jet Plane, Barbie luggage

Oh you know you’re digging her stylish Rihanna-like bob and that vintage, greyish blue, Pan Am-like uniform.  1966 Stewardess Barbie is now available at ToysRus ($32.98)

 

 

Every Barbie flight attendant wants to work the Barbie Dreamliner Jet (AKA The Barbie Glam Vacation Jet) with Captain Cheeseball. And for less than it costs to purchase a one-way airline ticket to most US cities, this luxurious plane can be yours -  and only yours (think your own row!) – for $119.99!  Now on sale (online) at ToysRus for $95.99.  Price includes dolls. NOT checked luggage fees.

 

 

 

A REAL frequent flying Barbie carries matching hardshell rolling luggage.  $49.99 at ToysRus

 

 

 

Because every flight attendant dreams of wearing aqua marine go-go boots with a matching train conductor’s hat while zipping up and down the aisle on a scooter!   Polly Pocket Adventure Stunt-n-Style Jet ($39.99) Hot pink goggles and luggage included

 
NOTE: This post was NOT sponsored by ToysRUs, even though it should have been.  (You listening ToysRus?!)

Laviator of the month: 007 Laviator

“On Delta, somewhere between SLC and PDX or vice versa…” – Ron Dubin

(Upload your laviator photos to The Laviators Group on Flickr.com)

How do flight attendants survive on such a small salary?

I’ve been offered a position as a flight attendant. Training hasn’t started yet, but I’m freaking out a little. Should I back out? It seems like a fun and exciting job, but the pay is $20/hour with only a 79-hour guarantee of work per month. The first year I would have to be on reserve and would need to live within 20 minutes of the airport. A one bedroom/studio within 30 minutes of the airport averages $1400-$1800 per month! We were told that during our six weeks of training we will be paid $1400, which will be prorated. Huh? How do flight attendants afford to pay for rent and living expenses? I am trying to calculate it and there is no way to make ends meet…even with a roommate! What do you suggest to those of us who have not started? Should we turn around and run for the hills? – Cold Feet

Dear Cold Feet,

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, no one becomes a flight attendant for the money! This is why the majority of new flight attendants are either right out of college or looking to make a career change after the kids are grown and out of the house. While $20 an hour may look good on paper, the reality is it doesn’t add up to much, not when we’re only paid for flight hours. That’s strictly time spent in the air. And with so many FAA regulations limiting us to the number of hours and days in a row we can work, most of us average between 80-90 hours a month. Keep in mind flight time does not include boarding, deplaning, delays, scheduled sit time between flights and layovers away from home, even though we’re on company time. However we are paid a per diem from sign-in to the time we arrive back to base. It’s less than two-dollars an hour.

You’ve been offered $20 an hour with a 79 hour guarantee. That’s roughly $18,000 a year. It’s more than most first year flight attendants get paid. The average flight attendant makes between $14,000-$18,000 the first year on the job. Each year we’re offered a standard raise. Flight attendants who work international routes, speak a second language, work high time (over 100 hours) and work for a major carrier have the potential to earn up to $80,000 a year, if not more, but this is rare. According to the Bureau of Labor Statistics, “Median annual wages of flight attendants were $35,930 in May 2008. The middle 50 percent earned between $28,420 and $49,910. The lowest 10 percent earned less than $20,580, and the highest 10 percent earned more than $65,350.”

So how do we do it? Enter the crash pad.

READ MORE

Photo courtesy of Byronv2