5 flight attendant myths shattered!

This originally appeared on Amazon’s blog: Kindle Daily Post

In her more than 15 years as an airline flight attendant, Heather Poole has seen it all. Here, she dispels the top five misconceptions about her profession:

1. A college degree is not required to become a flight attendant. But there are very few flight attendants who do not possess one. Being a flight attendant is considered a profession, not just a job. When Delta announced 1,000 openings in 2010, the airline received 100,000 applications. Only the most qualified are hired: being able to speak a second language helps, and so does having customer service experience.

2. Flight attendants are paid well. No one becomes a flight attendant for the money. The average salary for a first year flight attendant ranges between $14,000 and $18,000. Each year we get a standard raise across the board. Major carriers tap out around 13 years. This is one of many reasons why seniority at an airline is so important.

 3. Flight attendants barely work. Eighty five hours a month might sound pretty great, but those hours are flight hours only. Time during boarding spent cramming bags into bins and helping displaced families get seats together never shows up in our paychecks. The clock doesn’t start ticking until the plane backs away from the gate.

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[Photo courtesy of partymonstrrrr]

Cruising Attitude: New York Times book review

Yesterday was an amazing day for me.  I still can’t believe Joe Sharkey from the New York Times reviewed my book, Cruising Attitude.   Let me say that again because it’s not everyday someone like me can throw around words like “my book” in the same sentence as  ”THE NEW YORK TIMES!” And yet there it is on page B8, and it practically took up half the page.  It was a fantastic review.  Much better than The Wall Street Journal.

I’m a new author, so I’m learning the ins and outs of the book business as I go along.  What’s funny (or sad, depending on how you look at it) is in the publishing world this review is a pretty big deal.  Not just because it’s the New York Times, although that alone is HUGE, but because the review came out two months after the book was released.  Apparently in book world two months is equivalent to two years – dog years that is.  Of course I ran out and bought not one, not two, but five copies of the paper just in case something happened to the other four.

Here’s an excerpt of the review…

If you’ve ever wondered what may be going through a flight attendant’s mind as she surveys passengers all strapped into their restraints before a flight departs, Heather Poole has the answer:

“O.K., where’s crazy? That’s what I’m wondering every time I board a flight in my flammable navy blue polyester.”

That happens to be the opening of Ms. Poole’s new book, “Cruising Attitude: Tales of Crashpads, Crew Drama, and Crazy Passengers at 35,000 Feet” (William Morrow). Ms. Poole has been a flight attendant for 15 years for a major airline that she won’t name because, for a reason unfathomable to me, she loves her job and would hate to lose it. (Under airline rules, crews are allowed to talk to the media, but not to identify their company.)

Now, as a long-serving ombudsman for frequent fliers, I will quickly note that passengers sometimes have their issues with some flight attendants. The first question some of us ask once we’ve buckled ourselves in is this: “O.K., where’s the passive-aggressive martinet of a flight attendant who hates the passengers?”

Both questions are harsh, but I’ll admit that Ms. Poole’s has the weight of the evidence. Take that passenger who barged into the galley where she was squatting by a beverage cart to eat a sandwich she had brought from home. The passenger “took a bite of my half-eaten sandwich” and ran back to his seat, Ms. Poole writes. She adds, “I’ve seen a woman try to store her baby inside an overhead bin.”

After reading that, I called Ms. Poole at her home in Los Angeles to ask: “Really? The overhead bin?”

Ms. Poole, 41, said it was. “Well, maybe she was just putting it there while she sorted her things out, but that wasn’t my impression,” she said.

Ms. Poole is funny, amiable and self-deprecating. She seems well-grounded, so to speak. But her tone when I asked skeptically about the baby in the bin definitely conveyed the idea, “You have met the general public, haven’t you?”

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The Morning Show: (video) Confessions from a flight attendant…

Last Sunday I was interviewed on Australia’s Morning Show.  This is by far my favorite interview.  It was so much fun to do and the way they pieced it together came out great.  What I love most is when Larry admits to marrying a flight attendant and then jokes about her pulling a strap across the window and “cross checking” the front doors at night.  Wish I could have told him, “Once a flight attendant, always a flight attendant.  It’s like the Marines.”

AOL’s You’ve Got video series features “the real life of a flight attendant”

It’s not my favorite interview, but it came out much better than I thought it would.  Honestly I was kind of nervous about this one. I can’t tell you how many times we had to stop filming because of cars honking, airplanes landing, helicopters hovering above, or because the wind was blowing way too hard. “I’ve never had such a difficult shoot,” said the producer an hour into it.  He was talking about my hair.  It was all over the place.  Each time we had to wait for the noise to die down, I’d completely forget what I was saying.  I now have an all new respect for reporters who film on location.  Trust me, it’s much harder than it looks.

Description: Writer and flight attendant Heather Poole discusses common misconceptions about air travel. Poole has worked for a major carrier for more than 17 years and is the author of “Cruising Attitude: Tales of Crashpads, Crew Drama, and Crazy Passengers at 35,000 Feet.” (1:29)

CLICK HERE to watch YOU’VE GOT HEATHER POOLE.  And find out why love isn’t always in the air – or on the ground.

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For flight attendants, seniority means shorter skirts. Here’s why…

10 Flight Attendant Secrets is featured  in the May / June issue of Mental Floss Magazine.The following excerpt originally appeared on MentalFloss.com May 3

In the current issue of mental_floss magazine (get a free issue!), veteran flight attendant Heather Poole revealed 10 workplace secrets, including this one about the length of her skirt.

Our tenure on the job doesn’t just determine which routes we fly and which days we get to take off; it also affects the hierarchy in our crashpad, an apartment shared by as many as 20 flight attendants. Seniority is the difference between top or lower bunk, what floor your bed is on, and just how far away your room is from noisy areas such as doors or stairwells.

Seniority even determines the length of our skirts—we can’t hem them above a certain length until we’re off probation. Afterward, it’s OK to shorten the hem and show a little leg. Some of the friskier pilots take advantage of the long hems; they know that new hires tend to be more flattered by their advances than senior flight attendants.

[Heather Poole has worked for a major carrier for more than 15 years and is the author of Cruising Attitude: Tales of Crashpads, Crew Drama, and Crazy Passengers at 35,000 Feet.]

 

Drunk passengers, playboy pilots & life in the sky: Flight attendant reveals secrets of the industry

 

Now available at Terminal 2, Sydney Airport

This post originally appeared on Boston.com

What does a flight attendant really do? (Answer: more than you think.) What’s it really like to deal with drunk passengers, suave pilots and potential terrorists? (Answer: it’s tougher than you think.) What really happens when a flight is delayed, cancelled or worse, redirected to another location? (Answer: everyone’s mad, not just the passengers.) Is it really a glamourous life at 35,000-feet? Flight attendant Heather Poole is dishing about it all – and sometimes more – in her new book “Cruising Attitude: Tales of Crashpads, Crew Drama, and Crazy Passengers at 35,000 Feet“.

I’ve known Poole for some time and have worked with her on a few different travel projects over the years, so I was eager to get my hands on this book, which broke into Amazon’s top 100 best selling books on its very first day on the market. The book is a hilarious look at what really happens in flight, how flight attendants identify “problem” passengers (they’re looking at you, guy with his fly open who smells like whiskey trying to board with first class while holding a coach ticket), and the real reactions and emotions that happen when there’s an emergency. The book also details the life of a flight attendant on the ground, from sharing flats to scary cab rides and blind dates.

Poole is already working on her next book, but before she got too involved in that I sat down to chat with her about this book, and gain some insight on the most common questions asked from fliers today:

Melanie Nayer: What is the one thing passengers don’t know about FAs?

Heather Poole: We don’t get paid until aircraft door is shut and pushed away from the gate. Boarding is the most stressful time, and when there’s a delay or mechanical issue, people yell at us, but we don’t control the weather or the mechanics on the plane. Believe me – I’m mad too! I’m out of money if that trip doesn’t take off.

MN: How do you handle it when passengers argue about the flight with you?

HP: I love it when a passenger will call home and get the weather scoop from their wife or boyfriend. The weather isn’t where your wife is. Airlines do not have airplanes just lying around to grab when we need one. Everything is very efficiently run. When a plane is broken, they just don’t have an extra plane in the airplane garage. They pull planes from other people’s runs. Here’s a tip: it’s always better to fly in the morning because you have a better chance of getting to where you need to be. When a plane goes out of service, they’ll start pulling planes from other route. The last flight out loses.

MN: What are you biggest passenger pet peeves?

HP: Oh there are a few… When I ask a question, no one answers anymore. Passengers are so consumed with their electronic devices that i’m just talking to myself. When passengers are right up against my [backside] when I’m in the aisle for beverage service because they want to get by to go to the bathroom or return to their seat. Also, nowadays the kids will sit in coach and parents will sit in business class, an there is all this back-and-forth on the plane. You’re trying to do a service and mommy or nanny are walking up and down the aisle. it’s not that we have a problem with passengers moving around, but does it have to be during meal service? Then there’s the passenger who lies to get upgrades or get seats together. One guy pretended he was on his honeymoon so he could get upgraded and free drinks. After a few too many, he came to the back of the plane and spilled to us his wife was at home.

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In defense of old and weary flight attendants

“Wouldn’t it be nice to be served by flight attendants that are actually excited to come to work? Yes, safety training is important. But there is no reason to believe that a fit and alert 29-year-old should perform less safely in an emergency than a weary, overweight 60-year-old.” –Bill Frezza, Forbes.com

If you want to talk safety, Bill, let’s talk safety. But what’s with using “weary” and “overweight” to describe 60-year-old flight attendants? Maybe the point you were trying to make in your article about airline bankruptcy is that new labor is cheap labor. What you’ve seem to have forgotten is times have changed over the last thirty years and some airlines now deliberately hire older people in an effort to save money on retirement and pensions. And did you know new flight attendants start out making between $14,000-18,000 in the first year? Each year we’re given an across-the-board raise with most flight attendants maxing out around the 13-year mark. Flight attendants don’t cost the airlines half as much as the airlines would love the flying public to believe.

Going back to safety, Bill, let’s ask the passengers on board US Airways flight 1549 how they felt about the crew who evacuated a plane full of 150-plus passengers after the aircraft ditched into the Hudson River. The entire crew of the “Miracle on the Hudson” (including Captain Sullenberger) was over 50, leaning closer to 60. I’d say they did a wonderful job of getting passengers out safely. Personally, I’d be more concerned with my fellow passengersmoving quickly than I would be about flight attendants of any age – after all, we are only allowed to work if we can pass a yearly recurrent training program. Passengers just have to buy a ticket.

Now, as for being excited to come to work, it’s true that sometimes it’s hard to love passengers who verbalize how miserable they feel about flying, especially when these same passengers go on to wonder why we aren’t younger and prettier. Last time I checked, flight attendants were people, too. I know it’s hard to believe but we, too, are allowed to grow old just like passengers. I’m talking to you, Bill!

But Bill is not alone.

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[photo courtesy of alexindigo]

Falconry at Terranea Resort

Meet Focker, one of the falcons at the Terranea Resort

If Pamela Anderson walked by naked and an eagle flew overhead at the exact same time, I’m pretty sure my husband would crash the car looking up at the eagle.  That’s how funny he is.  And yet his close friends have no clue just how much birds of prey fascinate him.  In fact when I told some of them what I had planned for his birthday,  a private session with the falcon trainer at Terranea Resort, they looked at me like I was crazy.  But crazy is how awesome these birds are!  And I’m not even a bird lover.

Focker and Grumpy are the names of the two falcons we met last weekend.  I can’t remember the hawk’s name, but he is one big beautiful bird with the most intense eyes I’ve ever seen – on a bird.  Rumor has it there’s also an owl employed at the hotel.  That’s right, these birds all have jobs.  Based on how peaceful and quiet the immaculate property is, they do their job well.  The birds are used to scare seagulls, pigeons, and crows away from the resort.  If you happen to be staying at Terranea Resort you might get lucky and catch trainer Scott Timmons making the rounds with one of his birds.   Or you can do what I did and book a private session.   At $99 a person it’s a little pricey, but definitely worth it if you’ve got a bird lover on your hands.  Three days later mine is still raving about the unique experience.

Terranea Resort is located in Palos Verdes, California, about an hour drive from the Los Angeles International Airport.

Click HERE to read a Hotel Slipper’s review of Terranea Resort.

BOOK #2

Big news!  I’ve finally decided what I’m going to be working on next.  Not Skydoll.  Not Stewardeath.  Not the cat book.  (Yes, a cat book.)   Not even the book about my grandpa and his WWII plane, Silver Babe.  For my second book I’m going to write essays about my family.  Really the family just drives different topics that revolve around travel, which will make this book a little more personal than Cruising Attitude.  Think life on the ground with stories from the sky mixed in.  Here’s an example of what I’m talking about. I married a top-tier frequent flier. Imagine what it’s like traveling with him on my flight passes. AWFUL.  And then there’s the time my sister came to visit for a weekend and packed an entire suitcase full of shoes.  I live in a beach town.  She was only here for 48 hours.  Which reminds me of the time my mother-in-law packed 160 pounds of clothing for a cruise.  Yeah, I’m pretty sure she’s never worn 160 pounds of clothing during a normal week in her life!   I can’t tell you how many requests I’ve had to hear more about my mother.  You better believe she’s in it. I mean how could I not tell you about the time she checked into the Plaza Hotel and then went home to decorate her room just like it.  SHHH, don’t tell her I told you!  Seriously, I don’t need to start arguing about that now.  The goal is to have an outline and a few chapters written by August.  When The Kid goes back to school (after summer break), I’ll get busy, and hopefully you’ll have something to read in 2014.

My 5 favorite flight attendant videos of all time…

This post originally appeared on my Galley Gossip column featured on  Gadling.com

2. Pam Ann: Cabin Service (staring Pam Ann)

3. Carol Burnett Show: No Frills Airline (staring Carol Burnett, Tim Conway, and Harvey Korman)

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