Category Archives: flight attendant

A question about the flight attendant sexual fantasy

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Dear Heather,

I love your blog……and just wanted to say hi.  I know you’re married and don’t fly routes down to Florida, so I guess I’ll have to find another way to fulfill my “flight attendant sex fantasies” but reading your blog is fun anyway.  If I’m wrong (and you visit/play) or have friends who do, please let me know.  ;-)

Ron

Dear Ron,

I really am glad you enjoy reading my blog.   But as for the flight attendant fantasy/play-thing…well…to be quite honest, Ron, I’m speechless.  My husband, on the other hand, not so speechless, which is why we won’t be sharing this with him.  What I will share with you is this.  There are just a few words that skeeve me out when used by grown  men – PANTIES and PLAY are two of them.  I’m just saying…    

“Wanna know what skeeves me out,” said my mother who is also a flight attendant when I read to her what I was writing to you.  “Paris Hilton,” she said, and when she said this she said it very seriously. 

And there you have it Ron.   There will be absolutely no playing, panties, or Paris anytime soon!  But hey, that’s just me.  And my mom.  I can’t speak for other flight attendants.    

Happy travels,

Heather      

 

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Filed under Airlines, Airplane, flight attendant, Hooking Up, Layover, Stewardess, Uncategorized

Cell phones on the airplane

Recently on Twitter.com Times Travel asked me who I thought the worst type of passenger was. I wrote, “a business class passenger who does not get an upgrade and ends up in coach.”

But not all business class passengers who end up in coach are bad. In fact, business class passengers are actually my favorite passengers. They know the drill. They know exactly what to expect. So there’s no “on my last flight…” or “what do you mean there aren’t any magazines or pillows?”

The truth is the worst type of passenger is the kind of passenger who thinks he/she travels often, but in reality he/she only travels a few times a year, which isn’t really all that often, not compared to frequent fliers today. Yet they have no problem letting me know just how often they fly (which isn’t all that often) when they’re doing something they shouldn’t be doing, something a frequent flier knows not to do, like use a cell phone after the flight attendant has made the announcement that it’s time to turn off and stow all electronic devices.

The following scenario actually took place on board one of my flights…

We’re on the tarmac in Chicago and the flight attendant is walking down the aisle while the safety video is on and she sees a passenger on his cell phone talking and says, “Sir, you need to turn your cell phone off!”

He tells whomever he’s talking to on the phone to hold on a minute, and then he covers the mouthpiece with his hand and asks the flight attendant, “what flight number is this?”

Shaking her head, the flight attendant says, “Sir, you can’t be on your phone right now! The safety video is on. You need to turn it off.” She points to the video monitor and it’s at that part where the guy in the suit reaches up and grabs the oxygen mask and places it over his nose and mouth, looking way too relaxed for a guy who has just placed an oxygen mask over his nose and mouth because he’s probably going through a decompression or something and should probably be hyperventilating along with the rest of us.

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Filed under Airline, Airplane, business traveler, cell phones, Dating passengers, electronic devices, flight attendant, frequent flier, plane, Safety, Safety Demo, Times Travel, Twitter

Southwest Airlines, AirTran Airways, and other airlines who may be hiring

Dear Heather,

I was hired with Southwest Airlines earlier in the year, but I was informed today that Southwest will no longer be having any training classes in 2009. Now I’m going to try for AirTran Airways. I had an interview and told them I successfully interviewed with Southwest Airlines last August however they aren’t having any training in 2009 and I’m ready to move forward with my flight attendant career. I hope it doesn’t hurt me that I told them that. What do you think?

Leesa

Dear Leesa,

Southwest is an amazing airline. People absolutely love them, passengers and crew alike. I mean what’s not to love about an airline that treats their employees like family, an airline that knows how to have fun, and more importantly, an airline that can lay claim to employing the rapping flight attendant (whom I’ll be interviewing soon!) Many years ago I wanted to work for Southwest Airlines, and always thought that I would work for Southwest, and even got a letter inviting me to interview for them, but then the airline I currently work for hired me first. Obviously I’m a huge fan of Southwest, even when I wind up in group C. The fact that you got hired to be apart of their family says a lot about you!

I’m sure you’re extremely disappointed about the training class being cancelled. I know I would be. So I logged onto twitter.com (click here to follow me on twitter) and sent a quick tweet to Southwest Airlines. I asked them if you’d be called back when classes resume or if you’d have to go through the interview process again. Five seconds later Southwest responded, “Yes, unfortunately she will have to go back through the interview process again.”

Honestly, I’m sure you’ll have no problem impressing them twice. That said, I also think that moving forward and interviewing with AirTran Airways was a great idea! Don’t worry about telling AirTran about Southwest, I’m sure that’ll only make them want you more knowing that an airline with an amazing reputation already showed interest in you.

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Filed under Airlines, AirTran Airways, flight attendant, hiring, Southwest Airlines

Swine flu on the airplane (a few things you can do)


Today I’m flying from Los Angeles to New York to start my reserve rotation for May. I’m bringing my son along with me. He’s two. Because my husband travels on business often and I’ll be on-call, my son will be spending eight days with grandma and grandpa. Oh sure I’ll take the train out to see him in-between trips. That’s not the problem. The problem is with all this talk about swine flu, I can’t help but be a little nervous, not for me, but for him!

We’ll be traveling by plane and in New York where 75 people in Queens were recently diagnosed with the disease. Did I happen to mention my crashpad is in Queens? I’ll have zero control over where I’m going and how long I’ll be there. When I voiced my concerns, here’s what a few of my friends had to say…

“Heather, I think there’s a Mexico City layover with your name all over it! Hee, hee!”

“Don’t think you have to go to Mexico, Mexico will come to you. Start a new trend, nothing is hotter than a flight attendant with a Michael Jackson mask on! If you rock the body condom from the movie Naked Gun, I want to be there!”

“Every time I wake up in the MEX layover hotel I breathe a sigh of relief that I wasn’t crushed in an earthquake overnight. Now if I can just not breathe while down there . . .”

“The only other thing you need besides a diagnosis is a company that’s not completely irrational and predatory about sick leave use. The company has denied me sick time, garnished pay for the days missed, and said to the union, “grieve it,” which is a years-long process.”

So what am I, the flight attendant, required to do if I see a passenger who may be exhibiting swine flu like symptoms?

Click here to go to GALLEY GOSSIP:SWINE FLU ON THE PLANE and find out!

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Filed under Airlines, Airplanes, flight attendant, Iberia Airlines, Japan, Mexico, New York, Passengers, Queens, swine flu

AirTran & more photos from the lav

Hi Heather,

My daughter and I flew to LAX last week and we thought you might want some lav pics for your collection. (:

I went ahead and applied with AirTran. I was informed today that Southwest Airlines will not be having any training classes in 2009 so I’m going to try for AirTran. I did tell them that I successfully interviewed with Soutwest Airlines last August however they aren’t having any training in 2009 and I’m ready to move forward with my flight attendant career. I hope it doesn’t hurt me that I told them that. I guess we’ll see. I’ll keep you posted!

Leesa

Dear Leesa,

Thanks for the cool shots. As you know I’ve got quite an interesting collection of photos taken from the lav and it’s growing. I have big plans for these photos, BIG PLANS, and I’m so glad you can be a part of it.

As for AirTran, you made a smart move and I don’t think it hurts to be honest. Airlines love to hire people who are honest, especially when it comes to liquor money. I think if they know another airline hired you, and that it was an airline with a great reputation, it’ll just make them want you more. Good luck and keep in touch!

Heather

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Filed under AirTran, flight attendant, Lavatory, photos, Southwest Airlines

Passenger caught with pants down

Dear Heather,

Is it standard procedure for a flight attendant to force open a toilet occupied by a passenger if the plane is about to land? Under what circumstances has the flight attendant a right to do this?

Thanks,Caught with My Pants Down

Dear Caught with My Pants Down,

I’m so sorry to hear you were caught with your pants down. I’m also sorry that a flight attendant had to see you that way. I’m sure it was embarrassing for both of you. On my flight from New York to Dallas last week I caught two passengers in the same position, but that’s just because they forgot to lock the door, not because I forced the thing open. So please, people, please, I beg you, please do not forget to switch that little sign from vacant to occupied. That way we won’t have to avoid eye contact the rest of the flight.

As for forcing a locked door open, it does not happen often. In fact I’ve only had to do it twice in my career and I’ve been flying for fourteen years. Once, not too long ago, I did it when I heard a young child yelling, “help, help, help!” because she couldn’t figure out how to unlock the lavatory door and another time when, seconds before departure, the passenger who had locked himself inside ignored our pleas to return to his seat.

“Sir, you need to come out! We can not depart until you take your seat!” my coworker cried, banging her fists on the accordion door. No answer. Just silence. Complete silence.

I gave it a try – knock, knock, knock! “Sir, are you okay in there?” Still no response.

“We’re coming in,” my coworker yelled, and two seconds later the door was pushed open. Startled, the man with the needle stuck in his arm jumped, causing it to pop out and blood to spurt all over the floor. The airplane was immediately taken out of service.

Continue reading GALLEY GOSSIP: PASSENGER CAUGHT WITH PANTS DOWN

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Filed under flight attendant, Passenger, turbulence

SAINT LOUIS LAYOVER REPORT

What the hell is going on over there? Yeah, that’s exactly what I wanted to know after I walked up to the first class galley to ask the one in charge if she had any fruit left over from the breakfast service. While I didn’t find the one I was looking for, or the fruit, I did happen to stumble upon THAT…and that, I have to say, kind of scared me. And here you thought flying was glamorous? Think again.

While on the topic of glamour, perhaps you read the FLIGHT ATTENDANT OF THE MONTH interview posted below and saw the bit about my layover in Saint Louis, how the only thing to do there was walk through the cemetery, the one located right next door (thank god I had a view of the runway), shop at the Hustler store across the street (actually, it was really more of a Hustler Super store, and I couldn’t believe how busy it was – on a Sunday – full of normal looking people), or eat at Denny’s (the turkey club with fries still tastes as good as it did when I was in High school). As you should already know, I did two of the three above, and yes, it’s true, this prude actually did make a purchase at Hustler. Even I couldn’t believe it as I walked out of the store, hiding the bag in my purse.

“You’re kidding!” exclaimed the husband over the phone after I told him I had just bought a DVD – a John Holmes DVD. Yeah, baby!

“I’m not kidding!” I said, excited to hear his excitement, but then…I didn’t want him to get TOO excited, so I added, “It’s just a documentary.”

The husband was sorry to find out that the DVD was, just as I’d said, a documentary. And now the husband and I know more than we’ve ever wanted to know about John C. Holmes, thanks to the documentary, WADD, The Life and Times of John Holmes, a DVD I may have to give away. Any takers?

So what exactly was the highlight of my St. Louis airport hotel layover? No, it wasn’t all the crazy stuff I saw at Hustler, though that was fun, and quite enlightening, and if you’re ever there you really should go, just to see for yourself. What I found to be the most exciting part of my trip took place in the shower. Hey, get your mind out of the gutter! That’s not what I’m talking about. I’m talking about a line of bath products from LATHER, a company I had never heard of before this trip. Mint Thyme shampoo and conditioner, Rosemary Verbena body soap, Yuza Bergamot moisturizer, they all went into the suitcase and flew from Saint Louis to Orlando to New York to Los Angeles, where they now sit oh so prettily on my bathroom shelf. The husband has been ordered not to touch. I’m hording what little is left. Why? Because I have never smelled anything so fresh and clean, not since Cady introduced me to Aveda years ago. I have to say, LATHER gives Aveda a run for the money.

Here’s what it says on LATHER’S website: Since LATHER’s inception in 1999, we’ve strived to inspire a healthier, more radiant life. We take a holistic approach to skin care, placing our focus on sourcing natural ingredients and essential oils, drawing upon the benefits of aromatherapy, and never using synthetic fragrances or artificial colors in our products. LATHER does not test any products on animals, nor do we work with labs that conduct animal testing. We are a proud member of PETA (People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals) and are included on their list of compassionate companies that do not test on animals.

Okay, so if you happen to find yourself in Saint Louis, or if you stumble across anything from LATHER in your hotel bathroom, please, for the love of god, grab em up, toss those babies in your suitcase, and send them to me! I’m begging you. Seriously, I can’t get enough of the stuff.

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Filed under flight attendant, Flight attendant Shoes, Hustler, John Holmes, Lather, Layover, Saint Louis, Wadd

Flight Attendant SHOES SHOES and more SHOES!

Dear Heather,
I really enjoy your blog. Whenever I need a laugh, I read it. Lately I’ve been looking for the perfect flight attendant shoe, any suggestions? My dogs are barking
Flight Attendant Debbie M, ORD based.

Oh the flight attendant shoe, the subject of many a male fantasy, as well as flight attendant nightmare (or two). The perfect navy blue shoe is not easy to find, as most of you, I’m sure, already know. You want to look good, but you need something comfortable, something you can wear while stomping up and down the aisle , picking up trash, while kicking luggage out of your way, for hours on end at 35,000 feet. Debbie asked, I listened, and off to DSW Shoe Warehouse I went…

DANSKO CLOG (Pictured above) – The Dansko Clog is to flight attendants what Tumi luggage is to Business Travelers. Next time you’re on a flight, look down, you’ll see em, because they’re everywhere! Definitely the favorite among crew. Cady, my good friend, owned a pair of these clogs for almost as long as I’ve know her (12 years!) and I think it hurt more when the clogs fell apart (a few months ago) than when she quit her flight attendant job, a job she kind of wish she hadn’t quit (over a year ago). Need I say more?


TAHARI ($69.95) – I love this shoe. Probably because it reminds me of a tap shoe, which reminds me of my childhood, which is probably why every shoe I’ve ever owned looks a lot like this one – with a strap and buckle, but a shorter heel.


R2 ($39.95) – This shoe does not look good sitting on top of the box, but on the feet, they actually looked cute. So cute, in fact, I almost bought them – a couple times in the same day. That’s me down there, trying them on, one of several times, turning side to side in the mirror. Not only were they cute, they were also comfortable – a flight attendant must. BUT…the wedge, it worried me. Probably not a good idea to pair a casual wedge with a conservative uniform. Save these for the day off.


PALLADIUM ($39.95)- I really have seen a flight attendant wearing these shoes, and I actually saw that flight attendant in the terminal, not on the airplane hidden behind a cart. This, to me, is just wrong – for so many reasons. I don’t care how cute you are.

MUDD ($39.85) – My current work shoes are an older version of these MUDD heels. Obviously, I like this shoe. What do I like about it? The heel. There is one. Yet it’s short enough to work in. And looks nice enough to wear through the terminal. No switching shoes for me. What I like even more than the heel is the rounded toe. When you’re working on your feet for hours on end, you need room, PLENTY OF ROOM. The bow/tie on the side gives it a flirty feel. I actually went to DSW to purchase this shoe in particular, but they didn’t have my size.

LOAFER – If I wore the pants to work, these are the style of shoes I’d wear, but since I don’t wear pants to work and these shoes are men’s shoes, we’ll move on to the next shoe….


ME TOO ($59.95) – Yes. I’ve actually seen em in-flight, and if you can’t believe that, get this…I remember thinking, not bad. For in-flight shoes. I bet they’re comfortable. Though I can’t see ME in a pair, you might be a different story.


MADDEN GIRL ($39.95) – These looked fun and flirty sitting on top of the box, but not so cute on the feet. Black patton paired with cheap polyester…not so sure about that.


CL BY LAUNDRY ($39.95) Something about this shoe caught my eye in the store. Still trying to figure out what it was, exactly, that caught my eye.


COLE HAHN ($119.95) – I threw these in the box and marched straight to the cash register, credit card in hand. Yes, they’re pricey (the husband would die), maybe a little too expensive, especially for work, but they’re cute! And comfortable. And they made me feel good. And they looked good. REAL GOOD. And they had my size. Did I happen to mention how good they looked on me? I mean what more could a flight attendant want?

Flight attendant fantasy shoe…for men. I’m not just talking about the men in drag. Add a few more inches to the heel and these, to me, scream available and desperate! At least on the airplane they do, because in REAL life I kind of, maybe, sort of, like them. Okay okay, so I actually own a pair, but I wear them hidden under a long jean, not on the airplane, nor in the terminal! Why? Because they say is there anything else I can get you? (Wink Wink). They belong to Cockpit Connie. Or do they belong to my flight attendant friend Steven? Or was it me? I can’t remember.


ANNE KLEIN ($54.95) Ummm…can you say Senior Mama? Can you say retire already so I can finally get a little seniority and fall off the reserve list already. Before I’m 50. Can you believe the person who now wears these sensible comfy loafers once wore those sexy go-go boots…So when you see a pair of these tired looking loafers walking down the nappy blue aisle, remember where they‘ve been. What they’ve seen. What they’ve done. Because, trust me, you’ll never have that

I’m sure you’re asking yourself, when will she be donning those brand new Cole Hahn’s? The answer is I won’t. As soon as I got home I knew I’d made a mistake. Not just because they were too expensive for work, and I’d ruin them within a week of kicking carts, but because the narrow toe would be a problem in-flight. So I boxed up the Cole Hahns, took them back to the store, and came home with these babies…


The new and improved version of what I already had – MUDD (Lucky me – someone had just returned a pair in my size this morning!)

If you’re a flight attendant and you’re reading this post, please click the comment button below and tell us all about your inflight shoes, because Flight Attendants everywhere want to know! Or just click the button and read what others, just like you, have to say….

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Filed under Cady, Dansko Clogs, DSW Warehouse, flight attendant, Shoes

YOU KNOW YOU’RE A FLIGHT ATTENDANT WHEN…

If you’re a flight attendant, you’ve probably already seen this joke. If you’re not lucky enough to live the glamorous life, and you’re actually thinking about picking up trash at 35,000 feet for a living, you may not want to send in that application for the job just yet.
YOU KNOW YOU ARE A FLIGHT ATTENDANT WHEN…

1. YOU NEVER REALLY UNPACK.

2. NO MATTER HOW MANY TIMES YOU CLEAN OUT YOUR SUITCASE, YOU STILL FIND ANCIENT HIDDEN TREASURES IN IT.

3. YOU FIND FOOD, CART SEALS, AND THE LOST ITEMS IN YOUR APRON POCKETS WHILE DOING THE LAUNDRY.

4. YOU LOOK TO THE CEILING WHEN YOU HEAR A DOOR BELL RING.

5. YOU WISH THERE WERE JET ENGINES IN YOUR BEDROOM AT HOME TO HELP YOU FALL ASLEEP FASTER.

6. YOU FIND YOURSELF STANDING AT YOUR KITCHEN COUNTER WHILE EATING A MEAL.

7. YOU DON’T EVER WRITE DOWN A FULL CITY NAME ANYMORE, I.E. SEA, DTW, SFO, LAX, NRT, MCO. BUGS THE HECK OUT OF YOUR NON-AIRLINE FRIENDS.

8. YOU KNOW HOW TO LOOK FRESH IN FOUR DAY OLD CLOTHES.

9. YOU CURSE EVERY BOSE HEADSET WEARING MORON, YES, THE ELECTRONIC DEVICES ANNOUNCEMENT ALSO MEANS YOU!

10. YOU ABSOLUTELY HATE BOARDING TIME, BUT YOU LOVE DEPLANING.

11. TURBULENCE IS NOT CAUSED BY WEATHER, BUT BY THE MOVEMENT OF
THE BEVERAGE CART.

12. YOU CAN’T BELIEVE THAT YOU HAVE NEVER BEEN IN A HOTEL VAN ACCIDENT.

13. YOU CAN HEAR THE DISTINCT SOUND OF AN ICE MACHINE A QUARTER MILE AWAY.

14. YOU REMEMBER DIFFERENT CITIES BY THE LAYOVER HOTELS.

15. YOU LOATHE YOUR CEO AND UPPER MANAGEMENT.

16. BUSINESSMEN ON THEIR CELL PHONES AND LAPTOPS RANK UP THERE WITH YOUR CEO.

17. PILOTS WHO REQUESTS THEIR MEALS OR LAV BREAKS DURING THE SERVICE RANK UP THERE WITH YOUR CEO.

18. YOU REMEMBER THE FEW PASSENGERS WITH GOOD MANNERS, WHICH IS SAD.

19. YOU CAN’T REMEMBER WHEN UNACCOMPANIED MINORS ACTUALLY BECAME BIGGER THAN YOU.

20. YOU ARE STILL AMAZED AT THE AMOUNT OF CARRY-ON LUGGAGE THE WHEELCHAIR PASSENGER BRINGS ONBOARD AND EXPECTS YOU TO LIFT AND STOW.

21. YOU ARE EQUALLY AMAZED AT THE AMOUNT OF CARRY-ON LUGGAGE THE INTERNATIONAL COMMUTING JUMPSEATER BRINGS BACK FROM CHINA TO RE-SELL AND EXPECTS YOU TO FIND STOWAGE SPACE FOR ALL OF IT ON YOUR DOMESTIC SHUTTLE FLIGHT.

22. YOU LOATHE INTERNATIONAL FLIGHT ATTENDANTS WHO COMPLAIN ABOUT THEIR 30 HOUR LAYOVER AND ONE NON-STOP FLIGHT, WHEN YOU ARE IN THE MIDDLE OF FOUR DOMESTIC SHUTTLE LEGS AND HAD A 9.45 MINIMUM REST LAYOVER LAST NIGHT.

23. YOU LOVE FOREIGNERS BECAUSE THEY CANNOT ADEQUATELY COMPLAIN IN ENGLISH.

24. YOU HATE FOREIGNERS BECAUSE THEY CANNOT ADEQUATELY COMMUNICATE WHAT THEY WANT IN ENGLISH.

25. YOU SECRETLY CHEER WHEN ANOTHER FLIGHT ATTENDANT HAS TO DEAL WITH THE ONBOARD MEDICAL EMERGENCY, AND NOT YOU.

26. YOU HATE ONBOARD DUTY FREE SALES ESPECIALLY NOW WITH THE NEW LIQUID EMBARGO.

27. YOU CANNOT STAND THE FREQUENT FLYER WHO SAYS, “I FLY MORE THAN YOU!”
28. YOU HATE WHEN HEAVY DRINKING PASSENGERS START CALLING YOU BY NAME LIKE AN OLD FRIEND

29. YOU LONG FOR DAYS WHEN IT WAS EASY TO RIG THE HOTEL ROOM TV FOR FREE MOVIES.

30. YOU DON’T WANT ANY PASSENGER TO TALK TO YOU WHILE DEADHEADING OR PASS RIDING.

31. YOU SECRETLY WANT TO SLAP SILLY THOSE STUPID IDIOT NAIL CLIPPING, FINGER NAILING POLISHING, NOSE PICKING, SNORING PASSENGERS.

32. YOU PASS RIDE IN UNIFORM SPECIFICALLY FOR THE LIQUIDS, GELS &CREAMS EXEMPTION.

33. IF A PASSENGER CANNOT FIND THE TOILET FLUSH HANDLE OR LAVATORY DOOR LOCK, THEN THEY SHOULD STAY IN THERE UNTIL THEY DO.

34. NO, I DO NOT HAVE A PEN.

35. YOU GET EXCITED OVER CERTAIN TYPES OF ICE, (I.E. ALHAMBRA, CRYSTAL, ETC).

36. YOU ARE EXCITED TO FIND A DIFFERENT TYPE CAN OF SODA IN YOUR CART THAT IS NOT SUPPOSED TO BE ON YOUR AIRLINE.

37. YOU CANNOT STAND THE DELAYED REQUEST FOR “NO ICE”, AFTER YOU HAVE ALREADY SERVED THEM.

38. YOU HATE THAT PASSENGERS THINK THAT THEY CAN HEAR YOU WITHOUT HAVING TO TAKE THEIR HEADSETS OFF.

39. YOU HATE WHEN, AFTER FOUR PA ANNOUNCEMENTS ABOUT THE BEVERAGE AND SNACK BOX CHOICES, PASSENGERS STILL ASK YOU, “WHAT DO YOU HAVE?”

40. YOU HATE WHEN PASSENGERS CANNOT DECIDE WHAT THEY WANT TO DRINK WHEN THEY HAVE BEEN WATCHING THE BEVERAGE CART SLOWLY COME DOWN THE AISLE FOR OVER 20 MINUTES.

41. WHY DO PASSENGERS NOT REMEMBER WHAT THEY TAKE IN THEIR CUP OF COFFEE, OR HOW THEIR SPOUSE TAKES THEIR COFFEE AFTER 15+ YEARS TOGETHER.

42. YOU LOVE TO SLEEP.

43. YOU HATE EARLY MORNING DEPARTURES, WHO THE HELL HAS TO FLY TO DENVER AT 0540?

44. YOU WISH YOUR INFLIGHT MANAGERS ACTUALLY WERE FORMER FLIGHT ATTENDANTS AT SOME POINT IN THEIR LIVES.

45. YOU CANNOT BELIEVE YOUR MOST SENIOR FLIGHT ATTENDANTS ARE IN THEIR 80’S, CAN AMAZINGLY MANAGE TO PASS EMERGENCY EVACUATION DRILLS AND RECURRENT TRAINING EVERY YEAR, BUT STILL CANNOT LIFT THEIR OWN SUITCASE INTO THE OVERHEAD BIN, HEAR ANYTHING, OR KEEP THEIR WIG ON STRAIGHT.

46. YOU WISH BABY BASSINETS WERE NEVER INVENTED.

47. YOU ARE GLAD THERE ARE NO HIDDEN CAMERAS IN THE GALLEY.

48. YES, REMAIN SEATED DURING THE SEATBELT SIGN ILLUMINATION, DOES MEAN YOU, SIR.

49. YOUR JUMPSEAT PARTNERS KNOW MORE ABOUT YOU THAN YOUR SPOUSE OR LIFE PARTNER.

50. YOU COULD RELATE TO AND UNDERSTAND ALL OF THESE ITEMS AND CAN EASILY ADD SIX MORE ITEMS TO THIS LIST.

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Filed under flight attendant

FREAK SHOW

Me and my mom, who is also a flight attendant. That’s right, we both pick up trash at 35,000 feet.

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Filed under flight attendant, Mom, photographs