Category Archives: Hotel

I’m not really sure what this post is about, but it does revolve around an adults preferred hotel…

My friend Cady gave birth to a baby boy recently – okay fine, so it wasn’t really all that recently, considering the kid is like two months old and seventeen pounds already! Which is why I need to go see her – NOW!

Because Cady lives in Florida and I live in Los Angeles, we don’t get to see each other very often. Actually, we get together about once every two years, which is pretty much never, but we do leave each other these phone messages that are so long they drive my husband crazy, so crazy, in fact, he feels the need to ask WHO ARE YOU TALKING TO when he knows exactly who I’m talking to due to the fact that she’s practically the only person I talk to – on the phone. I’m not a phone person.

Whenever I tell him IT’S CADY, even though it’s not really Cady, as in Cady-Cady, he starts shaking his head side to side and asks CADY OR HER ANSWERING MACHINE, putting this really long pause between the words CADY and OR which is his way of letting me know I’m crazy. I’m not crazy. Which is why I just squint my eyes and tell him to GO AWAY so I can finish doing what I’m doing, which is leaving a really long and detailed message on her answering machine about my husband who is asking me who I’m talking to when he knows exactly who I’m talking to.

So anyway, I just booked a flight to Miami – not this weekend but next weekend, which is my wedding anniversary weekend, the perfect excuse to book a hotel way out of our price range. Honestly, truth be told, I don’t really need an excuse to score a nice room, not after our last weekend getaway to Palm Springs where we stayed at what I thought to be a charming little place called the Calla Lilly Inn, but I chose to work the reverse psychology anyway.

HUSBAND: Did you book the hotel yet?

ME: I’m still looking, but I think I found something interesting.

HUSBAND: I don’t do interesting.

ME: I think you might like it. It’s this mom and pop place right on the beach in Fort Lauderdale. It’s just…(three second pause)…I can’t decide if it’s super cute or…well…I don’t know…there’s wicker furniture in the living room and Hawaiian bed spreads that look to be…oh…really old based on their flatness. Other than that…(three second pause)…it’s not too bad. A real deal when you consider the price.

mom and pop hotel

HUSBAND: I don’t do interesting. The last time we did interesting I found myself smoking cigars with a bunch of lesbians at an adults only hotel.

ME: Adults preferred. Not adults only.

NOTE: My husband doesn’t have a problem with lesbians. Not at all. What he had a problem with was the adult “preferred” hotel in Palm Springs that forgot to tell us they preferred adults and accommodated us, as well as our two year-old son, anyway. Not a fun weekend. Though the kid might say otherwise as he briskly power walked around the pool several times and yelled out HI MAN! HI LADY! to all the adult preferring adults who did not say hi back, over and over. The cigars were a peace offering

ME AGAIN: Well it’s a little pricey, but Cady says the Boca Beach Club is very nice.

HUSBAND: Book it.

I already did.

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Filed under Cady, Calla Lilly Inn, Florida, Hotel, Husband, Palm Springs, rambling

Positano

I had just booked the Turkish hotel in Venice and the Villa Rosa in Positano, and was just about to book the hotel in Rome when my husband rang my cell and exclaimed, “WAIT!”

“Wait?” I asked, simultaneously typing Gregoriana Hotel Rome into the search engine.

“Don’t book the room in Rome just yet. We might want to stay an extra night in Positano.”

I removed my fingers from the keyboard and slumped back in my chair. “Really?”

“Oh yes, really. I might need an extra night to make love on you in Positano,” he whispered, before cracking himself up.

I rolled my eyes and hung up the phone.

Trust me when I tell you my husband does not want an extra night to make love ON me – not to me – in Positano. Ever since Wednesday night when I tortured the man by making him watch the movie UNDER THE TUSCAN SUN in order to get us in the Italian spirit, he’s been torturing me with the above phrase. He won’t stop. Somebody please make him stop!

In the movie, Diane Lane’s character meets Marcello, a sexy Italian, in Rome, who whisks here away in a convertible sports car to Positano where he takes her to bed and makes love ON her. When Marcello murmured those words in bed, the husband and I just looked at each other. I smiled. He made the something smells face. Personally, I loved the movie. The husband, he won’t stop making fun of the movie. So I ask again – somebody please make him stop! I can’t take it anymore.

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Filed under Gregoriana Hotel, Hotel, Italy, Positano, Rome, The Husband, Under the Tuscan Sun, Venice, Villa Rosa

HOTEL VIEW CONTEST

This picture was taken from my hotel room window. Guess the city and win a set of 6 FLIGHT ATTENDANT GREETING CARDS designed by ME!
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THE WINNER IS…JGO & ONA
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Extra points if you can name the hotel!

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Filed under Hotel, Hotel View Contest, Layover, photographs, San Diego

Filthy Hotel Rooms

WARNING: You’ll never relax in a hotel room again!
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On a layover years ago, I arrived to my hotel room just in time to see the house cleaner wipe down the toilet seat with a rag. I remember rolling my wheelie bag past the bathroom door, smiling at her while thinking to myself, “Oh good, they really do clean the toilets,” mere seconds before she took that same rag and wiped down the sink counter. I wasn’t shocked. However, what did shock me was when a flight attendant once told me years ago she’d used the coffee pot to clean her hose. Now that disgusts me. How exactly she did this, I don’t know. Nor do I want to know. Seriously, some things are better left unsaid. Now whatever you do, don’t get the wrong idea about flight attendants, because most flight attendants I know are germaphobics. They wouldn’t be caught dead without their peaches and cream antibacterial hand lotion in their blazer pocket. Take my best friend Cady, a former flight attendant with an interesting hotel routine, for example. First she will line her toiletries on a bath towel placed on top of the sink counter as a buffer between her precious facial products and contamination. Next she will cover the remote control, probably the germiest thing in the room, with a shower cap. And finally she will pull that nasty comforter off the bed, tossing it on the floor, followed by a thorough hand washing with extra soup and scalding hot water. Now my routine is quite similar to hers, only I wash out the coffee cup with soapy hot water and always make sure never to crawl into bed without wearing my PJ’s, pajamas that cover from head to toe. Hotel rooms are dirty. We all know that. But in case you’re wondering just HOW dirty they really are check out this video about nasty hotel rooms, courtesy of my sister, who just came back from Denver where she spent a week in a hotel drinking water from a hotel glass.

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(Above photo was taken by BETH CALLAHAN, photographer/flight attendant extraordinaire)

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Filed under Beth Callahan, Hotel, Video