Category Archives: Passenger

Passenger caught with pants down

Dear Heather,

Is it standard procedure for a flight attendant to force open a toilet occupied by a passenger if the plane is about to land? Under what circumstances has the flight attendant a right to do this?

Thanks,Caught with My Pants Down

Dear Caught with My Pants Down,

I’m so sorry to hear you were caught with your pants down. I’m also sorry that a flight attendant had to see you that way. I’m sure it was embarrassing for both of you. On my flight from New York to Dallas last week I caught two passengers in the same position, but that’s just because they forgot to lock the door, not because I forced the thing open. So please, people, please, I beg you, please do not forget to switch that little sign from vacant to occupied. That way we won’t have to avoid eye contact the rest of the flight.

As for forcing a locked door open, it does not happen often. In fact I’ve only had to do it twice in my career and I’ve been flying for fourteen years. Once, not too long ago, I did it when I heard a young child yelling, “help, help, help!” because she couldn’t figure out how to unlock the lavatory door and another time when, seconds before departure, the passenger who had locked himself inside ignored our pleas to return to his seat.

“Sir, you need to come out! We can not depart until you take your seat!” my coworker cried, banging her fists on the accordion door. No answer. Just silence. Complete silence.

I gave it a try – knock, knock, knock! “Sir, are you okay in there?” Still no response.

“We’re coming in,” my coworker yelled, and two seconds later the door was pushed open. Startled, the man with the needle stuck in his arm jumped, causing it to pop out and blood to spurt all over the floor. The airplane was immediately taken out of service.

Continue reading GALLEY GOSSIP: PASSENGER CAUGHT WITH PANTS DOWN

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Looking for love..on an airplane?

Next time you have to travel, don’t despair. It’s not all bad. In fact, it can actually be fun. I just read an interesting article about looking for love at the airport, which I think is a fabulous idea. Believe it or not, I’ve instructed quite a few of my single flight attendant and agent friends to do the very same thing. I mean think about it, what better place to find a man (or woman) than at the airport. Forget online dating. The airport is full of men, all kinds of men, lots and lots of men. Ladies, we’re talking about an endless supply of diverse and interesting men here! Don’t see what you like, sit tight, a new flight will be boarding or deplaning soon. And whatever you do, don’t forget about the airplane. You’re flight doesn’t have to be miserable, there are men there, too. In the article I mentioned above, “Sally” suggests grabbing an E seat. Oh, I know what you’re thinking, and yes, it is the worst seat on the airplane, but not when you’re sandwiched between two hotties. I’ll let “Sally” explain…

OK. If you’re single and looking and really in the mood, there’s one great way to meet people on a plane. You fly Southwest. Make sure to board with the last group, which means you’ll probably be stuck in a middle seat. Then you walk down the aisle looking for a middle seat next to a really hot guy. Done.”

Personally, I think “Sally’s” suggestion is brilliant. Now most of you already know I picked up my hubby on a flight from New York to Los Angeles, somewhere over Illinois. When I tell people this little bit of information they always seem a little shocked, and then they’ll look at me funny and ask, “Really?” Yes, really. I don’t know why this always comes as such a surprise to passengers and flight attendants alike. There’s no better place to find a man (or woman) than on an airplane. Though he wasn’t my type (a short and bald New Yorker), what I liked most about him, the husband, was the fact that when I offered him something to eat or drink he always said please and thank you. Manners were a must when it came to passengers with husband potential. I’ve always heard that you can tell a lot about a man by the way he treats his mother. Well the same holds true for the way he treats those in the service industry. The way he treats me. And he, my husband, actually made eye contact while saying please and thank you, and he did it without ogling. He was polite, but not flirty, which I found very attractive. You see, if they flirt with me, they flirt with everyone, and that’s not good. I couldn’t help but notice the computer, an ipod, a couple DVD’s, a magazine, and even pen and paper inside his carry-on bag, which showed me that he was a man with a plan. That’s the kind of man I was looking for. But the thing that got me, REALLY got me, was the delicious looking sandwich he’d brought along with him on the flight. It was a sign that he knew how to take care of himself. What was even more impressive about the sandwich, was that he’d brought his own food even though he was traveling in business class. It was love at first sight. Let me tell you, after a long day flying the unfriendly skies, that sandwich, the kind you can only get in a true New York deli, well it looked good, and even though he wasn’t my type, he was starting to look better and better. What sealed the deal for me was when he saw me salivating as I passed his seat, pulling the meal cart to the front of the business class cabin, and offered me a bite. It meant he was a giver, not a taker, my kind of guy. Right then and there I knew he was The One. We, the short bald one and I, were engaged eight months later.

The point I’m trying to make here is that love really can happen at the airport, and even in the air. But whatever you do, don’t take advice from the one who calls himself The Player and refers to himself as The Pickup Specialist. This freak wrote a blurb on Askmen.com called How To Pick Up Flight Attendants. Have the barf bag ready, because here’s a little snippet of what he wrote…

On a Miami-to-Boston flight last year, my personal flight plan was set out before me as I boarded the plane and was greeted by a real looker with the standard “Hello, how are you? Your ticket, sir?” Instead of just handing over my ticket, I replied with a confident “hello” while looking her straight in the eye. Then “I think I can probably find my seat myself, but I’m sure I’ll need your help later.” When the attendants were helping people settle in, I smiled at her as she passed. “You were right, you did find your seat,” she joked.”Yeah, I think I’ve cracked the seating system, Jocelyn,” I said, reading her nametag. I then introduced myself and we shook hands.”You said you’d need my help,” she said, genuinely.”I think I’ll take a rain check for now — you’ve got other people to help. But I look forward to your next visit,” I said with a confident smile.You have to make her notice you right away…


True, it’s important that she notice you, but try doing it by helping an old lady get her over-sized bag into the overhead bin. This will not only save the flight attendant a trip to the chiropractor, but it will also show her what a gentleman you really are. There’s nothing more attractive than a gentleman, especially a well groomed and polite gentleman traveler. Whatever you do, don’t listen to Don, a cheeseball who calls himself America’s #1 singles expert, a man who has a website called http://www.getgirls.com/. Need I say more? I haven’t been to the site, but if I were you I’d think twice before clicking that link. Here’s what he wrote…

Ask the flight attendant for some coffee. Try to establish some eye contact while she’s taking your order and be sure and give her a warm and sexy smile. Literally try to melt her with your bedroom eyes and tell her, “You sure look great today.” When she returns with your coffee say, “Being a flight attendant sure is a demanding job isn’t it?” This sure could open up an avenue for some prolonged . What you’re trying to do is establish as much verbal contact as possible. After you’ve finished your coffee, call her to pick up your cup. This is when you’re going to “move in for the kill.” Ask her, “Would it be possible to talk to you in private?” She will probably respond with, “About what?” Just say it’s personal. Whether you get to talk to her in private or while in your seat, this is the approach to use: “I’m very attracted to you and I’d like to get to know you better. Can we have dinner or a couple of drinks together?” That’s all there is to it and hopefully she will say “yes.” If she doesn’t, you can’t say you didn’t try. Also, if you don’t get to speak to her in private and you have to speak to her from your seat and you’re sensitive about other passengers listening in on your lines, just have her put her ear down to your mouth and whisper in her ear. You might try this if you get turned down for dinner or drinks. When you’re getting off the plane, be sure and say on your way out, “Are you sure you still don’t want to have dinner or a couple of drinks?” You never know, she just might change her mind. In conclusion to approaching flight attendants in the air, be sure and do it at the beginning of the flight. Don’t wait until mid-flight or at the end of the flight. The reason for this being, that she may be tired or fed up with difficult passengers. So strike early and get a jump on any possible competition.


Okay, guys, if you even think about trying a desperate stunt like that, please take it to a DC10. Not the airplane. The night club. There’s actually a nightclub in Denver where a move like that MIGHT actually work on the customers, or even the waitresses who make the rounds dressed up as “sexy flight attendants.” I am not joking. This place really does exist. The club has no VIP room so all their customers can feel as if they’re traveling in first class. So there you go guys, if you must pick up a flight attendant by using the “smooth” moves mentioned by the two above, take it to the club and leave those of us on the airplane alone.

Buh-bye!

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Filed under flight attendant, Hooking Up, Love On The Airplane, Passenger