Hey Siri, was that my plane?!

 

Photo credit: Heather Poole

Caption:  @AviationPhotographic

 

10 ways to handle a tight connection

1. Book wisely. If you need to be somewhere really important, it’s probably not a good idea to book your flights with less than an hour between them. Even an hour is pushing it. An hour and a half is good. Two hours, even better. Whatever you do, don’t take the last flight out! Delays happen. So do cancelations.

2. Pay the extra fee. If you’re the anxious type and travel is stressful, pay the extra fee to sit closer to the front of the airplane and be done with it. Why start your trip out on the wrong foot and the risk a snowball effect. Because once something goes wrong, everything seems to follow suit. Better to be out a few bucks than to miss a flight! It’s worth it just to relax.

3. Check your boarding pass. Many airlines print the boarding time, not the departure time, on the boarding pass. Depending on the equipment type (smaller vs. larger aircraft), you can usually tag on another 30 to 40 minutes to your connection time. Read the fine print.

4. Switch seats. Ask a flight attendant if you can move closer to the front of the cabin on landing. Unfortunately, most flights are full these days and just because there’s an open seat up front doesn’t mean you’ll find a spot in the overhead bin for your bag too. If you’ve booked a tight connection, you might want to make sure your carry-on luggage fits under the seat in front of you.

5.  Relax: I know, I know, easier said than done. Just know that while it might feel like it takes forever to disembark, the truth is almost everyone is able to deplane in less than 15 minutes. So take a deep breath and … exhale. Put in your earphones and play the most relaxing music you have. Then get ready to run. Here’s to hoping you wore appropriate shoes to sprint across the airport terminal.

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Photo credit: NewbieRunner

Here’s what I think about those sexy flight attendant ads…

“Does Sex Sell Airline Seats? Some Airlines Hope so. ” originally appeared on TravelChannel.com

We asked Heather Poole, a 15-year flight attendant and author of Cruising Attitude: Tales of Crashpads, Crew Drama and Crazy Passengers at 35,000 Feet her thoughts about marketing flight attendants as sex symbols.

She wasn’t too impressed.

“Cheap airfare is the only thing that sells tickets today,” says Poole. “That and — oh! — on-time departures and good safety records. If passengers really cared about what their flight attendants looked like, Hooters Air would still be in business. They only lasted for 3 years!”

Poole adds: “The only airlines that seem to flaunt sexy flight attendants are the ones looking to sell calendars or get “likes” on their Facebook page. There’s a reason they’re selling sex over a quality airline. Business must not be quite as hot as the crew.“

Plus, what about women fliers? asks Poole. Sexting up campaigns aren’t likely to win over this huge travel demographic.

“Do most female fliers really care how sexy flight attendants are? I don’t think so. It’s like some airlines are only directing their marketing at male passengers. Last time I checked there were women not just sitting on the plane, but occupying business and first-class seats, serious hardcore frequent fliers! They’re also flying the plane. To which I say, God Bless America! I’m so thankful I work for a US carrier. “

So what do you think? Do the marketing attempts to present flight attendants as sex symbols make flying more attractive to you? Or should airlines focus their efforts elsewhere?

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[Photo credit: Heather Poole]

The Worst, Funniest, and Most Common Bad Passengers I’ve Encountered

From time to time I get asked questions about bad passengers. I thought I’d share a few of them here.

What’s the worst passenger behavior you’ve witnessed?

I’ve caught passengers taking other people’s luggage out of the bin to make room for their own bags. I’m not joking. They’ll pull out a bag, drop it on the floor and walk away leaving it in the middle of the aisle for the passengers behind them to crawl over. Have you ever tried stepping over a 21-inch Rollaboard? Not easy. Happened three times last month!

The funniest?

Recently a woman tried to stow her suitcase in that, oh, what do you call that spot? Crevice? Crack? Between the overhead bin and the ceiling? There’s like a millimeter of space there! I don’t care which airline you’re traveling on, that’s not going to fit. Then there are the recliners and the anti-recliners. One anti-recliner got upset at a recliner because she couldn’t get her tray table down. I suggested if maybe she removed the gigantic fanny pack from around her waist it might go down. She looked at me like I was the crazy one! One man actually called me over because the passenger in front of him had reclined his seat. I had to point out that, uh … his seat was reclined too!

What’s the most common bad passenger behavior you’ve seen?

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[photo credit: Telstar Logistics]

Executive Travel: In flight service

This article was originally published in Executive Travel Magazine

By Christopher Schmicker
Mar/Apr-2013

This flight attendant and author shares her perspectives about change up in the air, and ways savvy passengers can make the best of it.

“Flying today is like being on an episode of Survivor,” says Heather Poole. “Only the strong survive.” As a veteran flight attendant at a major U.S. airline (the name of which she declines to disclose), Poole should know. Over the past 15 years, she has witnessed the industry’s rapid evolution from pre-9/11 to the present.

Six years ago, in July 2007, Poole opened a WordPress account and set out to chronicle her life in the sky. When you Google her blog a disclaimer of sorts appears: “Another Flight Attendant Writing About Flying.” But Poole’s candid observations, infused with a brand of black humor that only those tasked with servicing fickle customers with a smile can properly lay claim to, have won so many loyal fans that to call Poole just another flight attendant fails to paint the full picture.

Thanks to her book, Cruising Attitude, published in 2012 by William Morrow, Poole appears frequently on TV shows from Good Morning America to Fox & Friends, and in the pages of newspapers from The New York Times to USA Today. Along with Steven Slater (“What a nice guy,” she says of meeting the former JetBlue employee. “It felt like I’d known him all my life.”), Poole has become a de facto ambassador for her profession.

Cruising Attitude expands on content from her blog and covers topics that range from crash pads and crew wages to air rage and the perils of pouring Diet Coke at 35,000 feet. What comes across through all of these anecdotes is Poole’s sincere passion for her job, despite the ups and downs. “I wanted people to understand what [flight attendants] do and where we’re coming from,” she says, “because honestly we’re all in this together.”

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5 ways delays are worse for flight attendants than passengers

This past weekend flights across the northeast United States and eastern Canada were cancelled en masse as a winter storm descended on the region. For the tens of thousands of travelers stranded or delayed, it’s a lousy experience that seems to have no end. But we know it isn’t any better for the pilots and crews scheduled to work the grounded aircraft. To get some perspective on the matter, we turned to Heather Poole, our favorite flight attendant/writer, for some insight on why exactly it’s so lousy for them. — Jason Clampet

You think you’ve got it bad?

Passengers aren’t the only ones suffering when a storm hits town and causes the airports to close. Here’s what happens when flight attendants get grounded.

We don’t get paid

Flight attendants are paid for flying time only. Time on the ground doesn’t count. I’ve been working as a flight attendant with a major carrier for 17 years and from time to time I’ll work an 11 hour day and only get paid for five of those hours. Happens all the time to more junior flight attendants.

How?

All that time between flights goes unpaid. The flight attendant greeting you at the boarding door is not getting paid. Neither is the flight attendant helping you find a spot for your bag. The time clock doesn’t officially start ticking until the airplane backs away from the gate. Needless to say delays and cancellations affect flight attendants just as much, maybe even more so, than passengers.

We can be reassigned to work for days

Once we’re on a trip, we’re at the company’s beck and call until we die or the weather clears up. When airlines are low on staffing, they can reassign us to work different flights as long as we’re legal. The FAA allows us to work a 16-hour duty day, but we have to get at least eight hours behind a hotel door at the end of the day. Between trips we get 11-12 hours off, depending on if it’s a domestic or international route or whether or not we’re on reserve or holding “a line” (schedule).

After flying six days in a row, the FAA requires us to take a 24 hour break. These 24 hours don’t always take place at home. Sometimes they happen at an airport hotel. 25 hours later we could be right back up in the air. Which is tough because there’s just no way to let our families know when we might be home again.

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How to spot human trafficking on the airplane

Super Bowl weekend is one of the biggest human trafficking events of the year in the U.S.  Because flight attendants are often the first line of defense, we’ve been trained to spot traffickers on the airplane.  It all started when Sandra Fiorini, an American Airlines flight attendant based in Chicago, tried to report a situation involving an eighteen year-old boy on a six-hour flight carrying a newborn infant with its umbilical cord still attached. No wife. Just one bottle of milk and two diapers stuck inside his pocket.  No one responded.  Fiorini later met Deborah Sigmund, founder of the organization Innocents at Risk, and soon they began working together with airline employees.

Flight attendants aren’t the only ones who can help. There are more frequent fliers now than ever before. Passengers should also be aware of what to look for while traveling.

Warning Signs

1. Someone who doesn’t have control over his/her own identification2. Someone who has few to no possessions.3. Someone who is not allowed to speak for themselves, or is made to speak through a translator

4. Someone who isn’t sure of where he or she lives or has no sense of time

5. Someone who avoids eye contact or appears fearful, anxious, tense, depressed, nervous, submissive.

6. Someone who rarely is allowed to come and go independently and may be accompanied by someone who controls their every movement

7. Someone who may be dressed inappropriately regardless of weather conditions.

Number to call 

Human Trafficking Hot line 1-888-373-7888.

There are more slaves today than any other time in human history. A person can be sold several times a day for many years, opposed to drugs that can only be sold once. Because of this human trafficking is one of the fastest growing crimes in the world, only second behind drug trafficking. It generates 32 billion annually for organized crime. Each year two million women and children become victims. 300,000 children within the United States are being trafficked each year. Most are forced into a life of prostitution and pornography in large urban areas such as Washington DC, New York, Los Angeles, Las Vegas and Florida. If it can happen on my flight, it can happen on yours. Open your eyes. Get involved. Write that number down!

Can passengers read pornography in flight?

From time to time I get questions from readers who want to know what the rules are regarding viewing pornography in flight now that Wi-Fi is available on board most airplanes. Thankfully, it hasn’t been much of an issue (knock on wood). But planes are crowded, personal space barely exits, and when passengers do things they shouldn’t, well, they usually get caught.

Last week on a flight from New York to Fort Lauderdale, a coworker had to ask a 10-year-old boy to turn off the erotica and to fasten his seatbelt. On either side of him sat his younger brother and sister. Across the aisle were his parents who had no idea what was going on until we informed them why he may have been holding the computer screen so close to his face. On a different flight another passenger was caught reading a PlayboyMagazine. Next to him sat his young son. What gave this man away was the opened centerfold he was eyeing up and down. When a flight attendant politely asked him to put it away, he yelled at her for embarrassing him.

How common is it to see someone watching something rather risqué on a laptop, iPad, tablet or even the in-flight entertainment system in the air? I can only think of a few instances I’ve seen something that might raise a few eyebrows. When this happens, I’ll gently inform the passenger that there are children on board and remind them that other passengers seated nearby might find what they’re viewing distasteful. Nine times out of ten they’ll either fast forward through the scene or turn it off – end of story.

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[Photo courtesy: Bekathwia]

11 Travel Tips from REAL travelers

Last week Anne Taintor and I teamed up for a holiday travel giveaway.  To be entered into the contest readers were asked to share their favorite travel tips.   I’ve decided to post a few of my favorites…

1.  Make hotel stays more pleasant:  One of my favorite tips for the holiday is tearing out one of those perfume adds that are in all the fashion mags, and place them gently on top of your lamp next to your bed in your hotel room to help take away those miserable stale room smells - Sara Culver-Truby

2.  Pack foil: I have so many travel tips it’s hard to pick just one but I guess my favorite one is to always have foil with you. If you do, you can heat up ANYTHING with an iron! Sometimes our hotels don’t have microwaves and if I have foil, I can wrap up any left over and use an iron to heat it up. I think this would have to be my favorite travel tip! - Leesa Grauel

3.  Get a good night’s sleep: I’ve downloaded a “sound machine” app. on my phone. It’s great for drowning out noise in hotels. - Karen Long

4.  Go left: That was our advice for visiting Disney, and it almost always works. People tend to go to the right, so go to the left for shorter lines - Michele

5.  Move quickly through security: If waiting in a long line, talk politics. Somehow it always moves things along a litle faster. Helps to talk blue politics in red states, red politics in blue states. If you’re loud enough, the people at the counter even seem to move more quickly. - Lisa Hardwick-Cillessen

 6.  Make trips more memorable: choose a new lotion or perfume scent, that way whenever I encounter that scent in the future it will always bring back a wonderful memory of that trip. - Bailey D. Caskey

7.  Get rid of baggage:  excess weight–clean out your purse! Invest in a nice lightweight nylon handbag. You can carry it inside a much larger carry-on totebag that will also accommodate your book, snacks, camera, change of clothes, etc. When you get to your destination, you have a smaller, light handbag for sightseeing, restaurants, etc.

8.  Out with the old, in with the new: For longer trips, I always bring some end-of-life undergarments, sneakers, PJs, etc. I toss them and then have room for those items I purchased. My other must haves are a Swiss Army Knife and a Spork (combo spoon & fork). They are essentials for when you want to make a meal from a food market. - Cynthia Felts

9.  Pack Jewelry: I learned to use straws to put your necklaces in, so they don’t tangle all up. - Maureen Androshick

10.  Stay Healthy:  Never leave home without a small antibacterial spray. Hit up the remote, the light switches, door knobs and taps. Hotels are festering places and if you do any amount of regular travel, this is the only way not to pick up every single greebly bug floating around. - Jean

11.  Plan Ahead:  Mapquest the liquor store in the neighborhood where you are staying to avoid those costly hotel bar drink choices. – Sandy

Photo courtesy of Jen Pollack Bianco

Flight attendants: The good, the bad, and the not so ugly world of flying

The Azumano Travel Show, a weekend travel radio show on KPAM out of Portland, Oregon, had me on the air last week to discuss my book,  Cruising Attitude: Tales of Crashpads, Crew Drama and Crazy Passengers at 35,000 feet - and what’s it’s like, really like to be a flight attendant.  You can listen by clicking the links below.

Azumano Travel Show: Heather Poole (Part One): Celebrities, traveling with kids, the mile high club, naked passengers

Azumano Travel Show: Heather Poole (Part two): What kind of person makes a good flight attendant, how flying has changed over the years