Category Archives: Airplane

A question about the flight attendant sexual fantasy


Dear Heather,

I love your blog……and just wanted to say hi.  I know you’re married and don’t fly routes down to Florida, so I guess I’ll have to find another way to fulfill my “flight attendant sex fantasies” but reading your blog is fun anyway.  If I’m wrong (and you visit/play) or have friends who do, please let me know.  ;-)


Dear Ron,

I really am glad you enjoy reading my blog.   But as for the flight attendant fantasy/play-thing…well…to be quite honest, Ron, I’m speechless.  My husband, on the other hand, not so speechless, which is why we won’t be sharing this with him.  What I will share with you is this.  There are just a few words that skeeve me out when used by grown  men – PANTIES and PLAY are two of them.  I’m just saying…    

“Wanna know what skeeves me out,” said my mother who is also a flight attendant when I read to her what I was writing to you.  “Paris Hilton,” she said, and when she said this she said it very seriously. 

And there you have it Ron.   There will be absolutely no playing, panties, or Paris anytime soon!  But hey, that’s just me.  And my mom.  I can’t speak for other flight attendants.    

Happy travels,




Filed under Airlines, Airplane, flight attendant, Hooking Up, Layover, Stewardess, Uncategorized

Cell phones on the airplane

Recently on Times Travel asked me who I thought the worst type of passenger was. I wrote, “a business class passenger who does not get an upgrade and ends up in coach.”

But not all business class passengers who end up in coach are bad. In fact, business class passengers are actually my favorite passengers. They know the drill. They know exactly what to expect. So there’s no “on my last flight…” or “what do you mean there aren’t any magazines or pillows?”

The truth is the worst type of passenger is the kind of passenger who thinks he/she travels often, but in reality he/she only travels a few times a year, which isn’t really all that often, not compared to frequent fliers today. Yet they have no problem letting me know just how often they fly (which isn’t all that often) when they’re doing something they shouldn’t be doing, something a frequent flier knows not to do, like use a cell phone after the flight attendant has made the announcement that it’s time to turn off and stow all electronic devices.

The following scenario actually took place on board one of my flights…

We’re on the tarmac in Chicago and the flight attendant is walking down the aisle while the safety video is on and she sees a passenger on his cell phone talking and says, “Sir, you need to turn your cell phone off!”

He tells whomever he’s talking to on the phone to hold on a minute, and then he covers the mouthpiece with his hand and asks the flight attendant, “what flight number is this?”

Shaking her head, the flight attendant says, “Sir, you can’t be on your phone right now! The safety video is on. You need to turn it off.” She points to the video monitor and it’s at that part where the guy in the suit reaches up and grabs the oxygen mask and places it over his nose and mouth, looking way too relaxed for a guy who has just placed an oxygen mask over his nose and mouth because he’s probably going through a decompression or something and should probably be hyperventilating along with the rest of us.

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Filed under Airline, Airplane, business traveler, cell phones, Dating passengers, electronic devices, flight attendant, frequent flier, plane, Safety, Safety Demo, Times Travel, Twitter