Tag Archives: Airplane

Torture the kid with this airplane costume on Halloween

I’m going to assume you’re reading this post because you’re an aviation geek and have a thing for all things flying, which is why I present you with this – an airplane costume from Pottery Barn.  Oh go ahead and torture the kid by dressing your little darling up as an airplane on Halloween.  He’ll love it.  People will think she’s adorable.  Ya know there’s always extra candy for the cute kids. 

Yeah I know it’s August, which is a  little early to be writing about Halloween, but my sister just sent me the photo of the Pottery Barn costume and…well…I couldn’t help myself.  Now I love my sister.  I really do.  But just because I’m a flight attendant and I write about flying doesn’t mean I’m going to dress MY KID up in that.  Heck no.  Not after what I did to him last year when at the last minute I nixed the pirate costume and dressed him up as a pilot.  But not just any pilot, a Northwest Pilot, as in one of the ones who fell asleep and forgot to land at the airport.  I had the kid carrying a toy laptop computer while I, his copilot, wore a satin eye mask on top of my head.   Genius, I know.  Only everyone assumed the kid was Captain Sully and I was his lesbian flight attendant.       

Now back to the airplane costume.  If you’re the crafty type you might want to consider making an airplane costume out of a corrugated box.  It ONLY takes 2-3 hours and the directions look (not so) easy.   Might as well make two costumes while you’re at it – one for me and one for you.  Or maybe I’ll just wear my uniform and grab two beers – Steven Slater style.


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Emotional support animals, sock monkeys & pets on planes

Emotional support service animals are service animals that provide emotional support to an individual with a mental health related disability. On most airlines, documentation must be provided 48 hours before departure to permit emotional support animals to travel in the passenger cabin.

I’m all for emotional support animals on board when it comes to calming passengers who suffer from anxiety. What I have a problem with are passengers who bring their pets on board and then claim they are service animals in order to keep them on their laps. Don’t get me wrong, I like animals. I really do. I have one at home. His name is Gatsby and he’s a seventeen pound Maine Coon cat. But not everyone on the airplane gets excited about sitting next to the passenger who has a dog wearing a dress on their lap. A lot of people are allergic to pet dander, so it’s my job to remind passengers that their pets must remain inside their carriers during a flight. The only pets that are allowed out of the carrier (on my airline) are celebrity animals (for real) and service animals. That’s it. Case closed.

While doing a little research, I came across an interesting bit of information. “Did you know there are horses that are considered emotional support service animals?” I asked my mother who is also a flight attendant for the same airline I work for.

“Not horses. Small ponies,” she corrected. Before I could even comment, my mother who was now laughing said, “Hey, I have an idea. Why don’t you call a couple airlines and tell them you’d like to bring a small horse on board in main cabin. See what they say.”

Yeah. Okay. Maybe later.

Recently during boarding on a flight from San Francisco to Chicago, I walked into the first class cabin and spotted something I could not believe. On top of a tiny petite woman sat the largest emotional support lap dog I’d ever seen. Shaggy and well-behaved, he was almost as big as the owner who did not have the proper paperwork to prove that the dog was in fact allowed out of its carrier. Oh sure the dog was cute, but half the cabin claimed to be allergic to it and no one wanted to sit by it. Finally, when it became apparent that we weren’t going to depart until the situation had been sorted out, a man reluctantly agreed to sit by the oversized, but very sweet, dog. Eventually an agent appeared who confirmed he had seen the dog’s paperwork, and then quickly he shut the aircraft door and waved goodbye.



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No he di’int pick free GoGo wireless over bin space!

Dear Heather,
Quick little story….So I was on dash in Chicago the other day, running from Super to Spectacular 80 when I was stopped by a tall handsome stranger wearing all GREEN! Truth be told, he was only wearing a green polo, but it was neon green, and well, that was as far as my eyes would go! I was briefly annoyed.  I was in a hurry! My seat was 3F and I NEEDED that bin space!!! However, once I heard his British accent, bin space was the last thing on my mind. The handsome stranger worked for GOGO and he was about to make my holiday season a whole lot merrier! Not only did I end up with his number, I’ll be connecting on all my flights for free well into the New Year!
Happy Holidays!
Dear Ron,
Wow, I am truly shocked that a British accent beat out bin space!  I mean we’re talking a Super80 here.  We both know there’s not enough space inside the first class bins for all those rollaboards and hanging garment bags that no longer hang due to broken hangers, not when the cabin is full and the very first bin doesn’t even really count.  It’s a little shorter than the others.  You did notice that, right?   Seriously, I don’t care how hot GoGo guy may have been or how sexy he may have sounded whispering free GoGo codes in your ear or whether or not you’re able to get free GoGo well into the New Year, we’re talking bin space here! Not to mention, the guy wore green – NEON GREEN!  That’s almost worse than blue – polyester blue.  You sure you’re feeling alright, Ron? 
PS.  You will be sharing that code, right? 

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A memorable flight for a first time flier


I knew something was up when an attractive woman wearing a fur vest walked to the back of the airplane during boarding and pulled my coworker aside on a flight from Dallas to New York. I couldn’t really make out what they were saying as I set up the galley, shoving snacks in a drawer and stacking cups in an insert, but it had something to do with a kid who had spent his entire summer babysitting while his friends went on vacation. The woman, it turned out, was the aunt who wanted to do something special for the boy, something that his friends had never experienced.

“Ya think he can visit the pilot during the flight?” asked the woman smiling brightly. “It’s his first flight.”

“No, I’m sorry, we don’t do that anymore, not during the flight,” said my coworker. “But you can take him up there now while we’re still boarding.”

The exchange reminded me of a conversation I’d had with a guy who recently told me about a memorable flight he’d had as a child. It happened back in 70’s when passengers actually dressed up to travel. He’d fallen asleep next to his mother and awoke to find that a pair of wings had been pinned to the lapel of his jacket. Not only did he keep the gold American Airline wings, he shared a photo of the jr. pilot wings, circa 1977, that the flight attendant had given to him aboard a B707. “It was the strangest thing,” he said, reflecting back on the flight in awe. So strange, in fact, the experience may have been life altering. Bryan is now a pilot who also creates aviation T-shirt art.

Bryan isn’t the only one who has experienced a memorable flight while growing up. I’ve heard several amazing stories over the years that have actually affected me! Now whenever I have kids on board I make it a point to march them up to the cockpit to meet the pilots. If they’re lucky they’ll get to push a few buttons and might even get a copy of the flight plan after we land. You never know whose future you may be shaping with one simple push of a button and a handful of paper.

With that in mind, I stowed the plastic mallet I’d been using to break the ice and made my way up the aisle to the front of the aircraft where I could see a familiar furry vest standing just outside the cockpit door. “Do you have a camera?” I asked the woman.

That’s when my colleague magically appeared with an iphone and said, “I’ve got it,” as she snapped a photo of the boy sitting in the Captain’s seat, a boy I would soon come to know as Cade, which is the adorable boy pictured above wearing the pilot hat. I decided to interview Cade later in flight….



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A fright in flight!

me and joy

I know this was not taken in the lav…but thought you might like it!  On our flight back from NYC to ATL on sunday.  Enjoy.

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How to get free beer in flight

Recently I read an article on News.com.au about a passenger who stole a few cans of beer from a beverage cart and then tried to flush the evidence – the empty cans, not the liquid – on an Air Canada Jazz flight. The pilot diverted the plane and the nameless thief, 23, was arrested for causing a disturbance on an aircraft. Like most airlines, Air Canada Jazz has zero tolerance for unruly behavior.

It did not come as a surprise to read about the passenger who had been caught stealing liquor, because I’ve come across quite a few sticky fingers myself over the years squatting in front of an unmanned cart or walking out of the galley with minis hanging out of their pockets. Yes, I made them put it back! What shocked me about the whole thing was the fact that the passenger actually tried to flush those aluminum cans down the toilet! Seriously, that’s crazy!

Once, years ago, on a Sun Jet International flight, a passenger decided an hour before landing that a fire extinguisher would make a wonderful souvenir. Somehow, I don’t know how, she managed to stuff the large red bottle inside a duffel bag and hide it under the seat in front of her, and she did it without anyone seeing her do so. The extinguisher only found its way back into the metal brackets behind the last row of coach after we, the crew, made several PA’s threatening to search every bag on board the airplane, which happened after we made a few other PA’s about not allowing anyone deplane until the fire extinguisher was returned – no questions asked. Not too long ago a passenger lo and behold “found” an egg McMuffin just sitting on my jump seat and figured it was for the taking. If the guilty one had not already bitten into my breakfast sandwich I would have snatched it back. I can’t even tell you the number of times my magazines and books have disappeared right out of my tote bag. People do crazy things on airplanes.

Now back to  the beer-drinking-aluminum-can flushing idiot who didn’t have to steal the liquor which resulted in an arrest and probably a fine that was much higher than the price of an adult beverage. Really, there are ways to get free alcohol without causing an in flight disturbance, ya know. Oh sure it depends on the crew and the airline and what’s going on that day, but here are a few ways to increase your chances…


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